Friday, April 26, 2013
VBT Review: Undressed By Avery Aster
25 New Yorker Insights Learned in Undressed by Avery Aster
Your vagina can take a guy’s shaft and nuts…at the same time.
Always name your butt plug after Anderson Cooper.
Pre-ejaculation while jetting a plane over Italy causes turbulence.
Never let a dog sleep in your bed, especially three dogs. It’ll ruin your sex life.
If he’s as hung as an Evian bottle, it’s best to look away.
Always retain the legal services of female lawyers, particularly ones named; Sarah Goldbaum and Hannah Goldstein.
Never allow your mother to spend your line of credit on a psychic from the Caribbean.
Sexual frustration leads to good business practices, enough to earn three hundred million dollars.
If Bergdorf’s, Barney’s and Saks Fifth Avenue reject your upcoming fashion collections try selling it to JCPenny’s.
Use your American Express reward points wisely.
Bellini cocktail consumption will induce foot fetishes.
Swedish Fish, Now & Later, and Gummy Bears from Dylan’s Candy Bar are perfect for your fuck-it bucket.
Everyone should be so lucky to have a best friend like Taddy Brill.
Never drive a Ford Thunderbird off a cliff thinking you’re Thelma & Louise.
Stay away from any woman named Scilla or Ottavia.
Wearing Tory Burch ballet flats while racing a sports car may cause ones clitoris to hum.
Think twice before sitting Lady Gaga and Madonna next to one another at your fashion show.
Prada and a condom, when worn together, are known to make bisexual men go bonkbuster cra-cra.
Altering a vintage Valentino dress, formerly worn by socialite Nati Abascal, may land you on the red carpet.
We should all get fucked in Fendi.
When in love, you can have as many orgasms as you like…in one day!
Slow dancing to Giuseppe Verdi enhances one’s emotional state.
Never argue with your lover in public, above all—never in front of Anna Wintour, Marc Jacobs, or Karl Lagerfeld.
Playing Simon Says, in bed, may lead one to reveal their true feelings. So will strip dancing in front of him to the song Girls, Girls, Girls by Mötley Crüe.
And finally, he must always say, “I love you,” first.
Book 1 in The Manhattanites series.
Milan’s notorious playboy, Prince Tittoni, seems to have everything—Lamborghinis, exotic women, palaces throughout Europe and business success. Ramping up his fabric company to go global with a new apparel brand, he ruthlessly stops supplying fabrics to the American client who inspired the collection. But once they meet, what’s he willing to give to get her in his bed?
Upper East Side designer Lex Easton has already endured her fair share of hard knocks. She’ll be damned if she’ll let an Italian stud muffin knock her down. So what if she named her favorite vibrator after him? With Fashion Week approaching, she’ll do whatever it takes to secure the fabrics she needs to make her clothing line an international success—even sleep with her rival.
Lex’s Louboutins are dug in deep to win this war. All’s fair in love and fashion!
Review Rating: 4 LIGHTNING BOLTS
Review: I have to tell you, this book both shocked and surprised the heck out of me! In a good way, of course. I really had no idea where things were going and what was going to happen next. The characters are very well rounded and definitely bring life to the book. The heroine, Lex, has a lot of spunk.
The story is a mix of HOT scenes, humor, and between the two, I was laughing, gasping for breath and just trying to hold on! Might you want to have a fan nearby, because you'll be needing a bit of cooling off after some of these scenes.
Kudos to Avery Aster for creating a memorable story.
Avery will be awarding Choc-A-Lot: Chocolate-Covered Sandwich Cookies to a random commenter
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